31/07/2011

Because the river is still does not mean there are no crocodiles.

It’s totally well and zen in my world once again… Or looks totally well.

A little stirring of the water would reveal a lot. I’ve been lonely. To say the least, and every effort at physical human interaction has failed, and all I am left with is my phone? Which is sometimes overwhelming when everyone wants to talk to me at the same time? How do some of you cope?

In my lonesome times, I grow, I develop, rapidly. And I discovered something. There is an actual difference in realizing that there is actually no floor beneath your feet, and flying. You know? Actually, Im hella confused of actually what to write about, as I have been fitfully lazy, and have too many thoughts running in my head…

I'm all about a better world, you know?
When you create an atmosphere that can better produce and maintain such purity your harvested energy will multiply ten fold and sow seeds in your life. Seeds that'll grow into big ass trees with some big ass fruit your now happy ass self can enjoy for the rest of your days. And so how do you create such an atmosphere?

Honesty.

With everyone of course, but most importantly and more vitally with yourself. You know why? Because its your life. No ones life but your own. Seen with your eyes, heard with your ears, smelled with your nose and understood on your terms and conditions. As selfish as it may sound. You are the only constant natural factor in this life so therefore you are the most important person in your world.

In my world, I see myself as the center. With everyone and anyone either a willing or unwilling observer, to whom must be satisfied with either the complexities or plainness of my life? I don’t hide under the façade of anything. I’m poor. I’m short, I’m ugly, I might be stupid at times. I also can be brutally honest, sweet et al. You decide if I keep you in my circle. If you choose to see the negatives, I’ll show you the fucking way out. But if you see the positives, I’ll stick by you till you decide to show me the fuck out.

Now what does dishonesty to one’s self do to a person? Any person? It slowly destroys the bitch out of that person.

If you have to lie to everything and everyone on this planet so be it. But never lie to you.

I am bored, not because of the obvious lack of physical interaction, but because everything else ceases to amaze me? My mind demands a challenge. I hate to be conquered all too easy and quick, you know? Like having sex with someone you’d dreamed about for a long time, and then finally doing so, then finding then completely and utterly annoying? I have grown to demand more of myself in almost every aspect of my life, and it is only logical that this should affect my completeness. And see, that why I’ve not had sex in aeons? Because, I can’t just fuck now. Because, honestly, I’ve fucked everything I wanted to fuck. I’ve accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish sexually, physically. And so, I you can fuck me from a distance, not at all having seen me, and you fuck me? Keep me interested? Wanting you? You can have me for the rest of your life.

And that is why, If I’ve cut you out of my life, you should know the reason why. You bore me. You’ve ceased to stimulate me, and when you begin to bore me, things begin to spiral out of control. Fast. Its all for a better tomorrow, see? You spend your days with a frown on your face, bitching on and on on twitter about your disdain for the ways of others, completely focused on the unimportant, trying to be sarcastic and shit…. While you do not know that you’ve zoomed past the line of importance and have become just like a clanging church bell? Or you’re still in the dark? Behaving like you know it all? Being inwardly bored and sad? And hiding by pretending all is well? Being all prude and shit because you want someone, somewhere to be happy? What of you? Does your heart smile? Are you being honest to your own happiness?

Sometimes, I feel sorry for the people around me, for having to deal with all my eccentrics. But think of it this way? Maybe my crazy seems crazy because you’re boring?

Loose yourself. Determine to do whatever. Whatever you *want* to do to make you happy. *have*

To make you smile, inwardly.

And then, when the intentions of your heart match the intentions of mine, all is well once again.

See the cattle herd mentality that now pervades the Nigerian Twitter community? It was a matter of time.

The wheat will always be separated from the tares.

Just wait for the harvest.

Your outward smile does nothing for me. Let your heart smile.

And yeah, Don’t think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm.