March 31.

6:00 am.

Back in my ususal zones. Im a bit on the edge now, but im not angry, just slightly amused. I just checked my mentions ... and WOW. On the same topic I mean.

So I've not been in school for about 2 weeks now and unlike my last semester here I have been as serious as possible, my entire life has been about work, school and "her" because I am trying to build a future. I rarely go out, I mind my own business and I keep to myself, completely out of the lime light, that's if you don't count the working and the writing, but at the same time that falls in line with my career so I cannot be judged because of that.

I have been a relatively good boy, a freaking monk some might say, at least compared to what I could be doing, at least compared to what most of YOU are doing. But despite all this.

People still find something to say about me.

And I get that, it's twitter, you people have nothing else to do but talk, I feel for you, I do BUT, if you're going to spread malicious rumors about me, even go as far as mentioning me in some damn tweet that has absolutlely nohing to do with me?

At least come up with something original, something juicy, something worth my aggravation.

Because I am so tired of this shit.

The last time I had a close girl friend, the same things were said, but those words were given to me in an attempt to force me to disassociate with said female. In the end I did.

Now, I have a best friend girl, and she also plays the role of my mother and sister when the situation calls for it, and because I never fight with her, because I refuse to stab her in the back, because I defend her when I hear slander.... then, I MUST be sleeping with her?

Must you corrupt everything?

I don't understand this. And you don't see the ignorance in any of this? Or the stupidity?

Why me?

Continue to slander me if you must, there is no such thing as bad publicity in this point of time in my life. Keep talking, it'll just get me more writing contracts, facebook friends etc but if you must talk, if you must fucking talk...-

At least come up with something worth my time.

For real?

And even if I was fucking her? And so the hell what? What is wrong with that? What exactly about who I fuck designates the need for aanyone to give a fuck about?

And most of the people who spend so much time talking about the life and times of the 20 year old Babafermie Smith have NEVER met me in person.

It's just so pathetic. And you don't even realize it.

Pathetic and incredibly sad.

You should fucking see my inbox.

Do you understand what I am trying to say?

When you spread rumors, in a way you are lying, therefore creating the most negative energy possible for yourself and your future, you fuck yourselves up without even realizing and because you've sown the seed of fuckery everything you touch will crumble, you'll find far too much unproductive free time on your hands and you'll continue to gossip, while the people you go on about transcend you in ways you couldn't ever have imagined for yourself.

Now do you understand what I'm trying to say?

If not, just please create some better stories ok?

This shit is just boring now.

In other news, today has been an emotional roller coaster. There are a lot of decisions I have to make about my life, decisions with consequences I don't generally support but must be done. I love Nigeria you know? Because it's home. And after being out of my nuclear home for a couple of months, the idea of home is extremely valuable to you.

I never really had a definite "home" so if I can sit down and say, this is my heart, this is my home. I'm happy. But to achieve the things I want to, I might need to leave. Ultimatums are being brought forward and I'm resentful, cause in honesty, I want to have my cake and eat it too.

I'll bounce back though, the light will illuminate the path before me. I'm just at crossroads, I have so many options, I just don't know what to do.

I really will hate leaving Nigeria, living in Australia, being alone in Australia. But I now have the resources to go back and forth whenever I please, and a psychology or business degree from an Australian accredited institution would be a lot more lucrative you know?

I think my decision is already made, but I hate it.

But at the end of the day, it's for the better. You gotta live today for tomorrow. You gotta be smart with the big responsibility that is your life, cause if I fuck up now, if I slip up now, I'm the only one that'll suffer, I'll be the only to blame.

I can't risk my future.

When she presented the idea to me, I was upset, I was terrified, I basically cringed at the idea of moving again, but hey, I'm young, this is the only time I'll ever get to do it. And she's right. Admitting that is the hardest thing I've done all day.

But I feel better. The idea sucks, but I feel better.

All zenned out and shit.

Peace and blessings.

Don't be afraid of discomfort, especially if it turns out be lucrative. You have to have a balance you know? Nothing worthwhile comes without work, nothing real, nothing lasting comes without difficulties.

Do what you have to for your future and your legacy.

And ill still will the Pulitzer.

May the grass be green under your feet.

<3. Peace.