Friday 18 March 2011

Hi.

Her: cn we c tonyt?

FS: Er, It’s raining.

Her: its stpd raining.

FS: Where’s your worship centre?

Her: Nyberg, pls come…

FS: I don’t want to see you.

Some people don’t just get it do they?

You should know i'm in a frigging lazy mood.

Because of all this writing i'm doing. Apart from the book work, school work, and all the blogging, getting to meet some of those I'd never met but chatted with, has been totally awesome and sometimes awkward.

You want to know something interesting?

I didn't smoke, or drink my entire Secondary school.

Thinking about it now, the path to my metamorphosis was quite astounding. I mean there was no clear signs that would point to the person I am today, there was no direct route, no obvious outcome.

I've just always been myself.

I've just always done what I wanted to do.

I didn't want to smoke or drink. So I didn't.

I wanted to have sex with a prostitute and I did.

Then all of a sudden. I just didn't. It's kind of like when your favorite color changes. Preferences change you know? You go to a buka or restaurant you've been eating at for years and all of a sudden decide to eat something you've never tried before.

Change in a change you know?

So after I graduated Sec. school.........all of a sudden.

I was drinking, I was smoking , I was cheating on the "love of my life", I was changing....

I was growing and to put it simply.

I was doing what ever the fuck I wanted.

Because that's me. That's the mystery behind Me. I do what I want and I don't hold myself back. I was talking to an old friend who informed me of a conversation he had with another old friend about me, where the second old friend said that she was afraid to speak to me now because she wasn't sure what I would be like, would I be nice Fermie? Or crazy Fermie?

And I can't help but laugh at the innocence of that question.

Because when you think about it, not that much time has passed it's just that the amount of shit I've managed to pile in such a small amount of time has forced me out of...well...myself.

That Fermie? That Fermie was a doppelganger of this Fermie.

That Fermie is no nicer, no happier, and was no more at peace than this Fermie.

There isn't much difference; the wording of my translation has switched up is all.

And maybe it's in a different language as well.

I can do what I want and have it not reflect badly on my life because in the end I'm not a bad person.

I'm just trying to die happy.

So if you want to have a nice little chat with me go ahead.

I won't bite.

As long you don't expect me to be nice. And if I’m in a nice mood, Enjoy it while it lasts.

But In the end, it turns out I’m just ME.

Nobody ever comments on my shit. Do I scare you? Or leave you speechless?

I DON’T BITE.

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