Sunday, 1 January 2012

January, 2012.

I’m on the verge of writing another BlogPost. My finger’s twitch. I think I just received the biggest testament to love? The rate at which my heart races at this moment, I fear for my life. However, Its morning, I’m awake, my threadbare soul has been assuaged by a particular soul. A soul with whom I lost contact for less than 20 hours, during which I just went through the motions…A soul you’ll soon come to meet.

Sooooo. How are you guys? I’m so fucking self centered, I rarely ask you guys how you’re doing.

I’ve missed waking up so early, listening to the clikety-clack of the keyboard as I stroke the hell out of it. I’m sipping on coffee, with which I’ve pummeled with so much sugar, I’m only too sure its lost its vibrancy. I’m smiling tho. I can’t be bothered, you know? Its 2012. And oh, Happy New Year. And while most think this is the beginning of the end of the world, this, my dear friends is the beginning of my own world… 2011 inasmuch as it was exciting, was a bit tiring, but here I am, just peeking at the summit of my youthfulness, I zooming beyond all stagnation, hustling my way to the fucking top and leaving all the fuckery in my wake.

I finally quit twitter. And, no, me quitting isn’t the huge crate of self-discipline I was hoping to buy, you know, there are several other steps which must be taken in the search of what I seek. I know this full well, and the sacrifices I would have to make, well, would include some you who read this. Now, the question isn’t… Is there life after twitter? The question is… Was there life on twitter?

Of course, one must define life to answer that question. 

Honestly. And so… the journey begins.

And yeah, that was a rhetoric. What does life consist of? What does your life consist of? I’ve begun to read the Book of the Preacher, (that’s the book of Ecclesiastes), and would suggest that you do to. Regardless of the fact that I do not practice any religion, there are undeniable truths everywhere. On the street, on each other’s faces? Why can’t we all just stop and look at each other? This is another important life-lesson that has come to me in the past few hours…. It’s a lesson I buried, but have recently dug up.

I remember a film I watched. I’ll never forget that film. I cannot remember its title, sadly. At first, the sweet amateur production full of mediocre actors made me shudder with disgust. The first part of the movie was unbearably boring. I thought to myself that this was the worst movie I had ever seen. There was barely a plot to speak of and it moved so slowly I had to fight to keep myself awake. Then it happened.

A character in the movie unexpectedly dies. She spent the next part of the movie sitting on a folding chair while the entire first part was reacted. The difference though was that during the second act of the first part the audience hears her thoughts. Her “spirit” is speaking to her past self. It took but a moment to realize the significance and almost painful beauty of what I was seeing and hearing. That boring, mundane, little life of a boring, mundane, little existence was so full of unimagined joy and beauty. The problem was that when she was living it she couldn’t see it. She had to die to realize the utter beauty and deep love that surrounded her on a daily basis.

Her spirit self is sad and frustrated with how she lived her life. She screams at herself to look at the faces of those she might have loved a little longer, to not let pettiness destroy friendships, to look at the flowers in the garden, not just merely tend to the surrounding weeds. I almost cried throughout the second act because I was that woman sitting on the folding chair. It forced me see my life through different eyes.

Appreciative eyes always see things differently. 

Boredom only exists if we let it. Every moment has something of value if we allow ourselves to sit on that folding chair and examine our lives. I don’t want to have to die to realize I never should have stood under the night sky and not taken the time to look up at all its wonder. I don’t want to have to die to realize I should have loved the people in my life more completely. I don’t want to have to die to realize that every moment I had on earth was to be cherished not squandered. Sunrises deserve to be seen not just read and written about. You’ll never know who’s smiling at you while you’re bent over your phone, tweeting, trying to make virtual people smile at you…The time we lose we can never regain. I know this full well. You know, after twittercide, I’m forced to look back and ask myself some of these…

The older I get the more value I find in the words, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” There’s too much beauty to see, too many hands that need to be held, too many shoulders to lend to crying eyes, too many books that need to be read, too many stars to try to count, too many birds to watch dance in the sky, too many faces to make smile. We only get one chance at this thing we call life. Why not choose to make our time on the folding chairs a satisfied one?

It’s a new year, and this ride, though will be full of bumps, will also have smooth roads. There will be flowers by the road, the occasional snake crossing the road, the beauty of the mirage, the sunlight that’ll make us squint. I’ll take you on my journey. You know, sometimes the road less traveled has the greatest view. Sometimes it’s shit, but until you take that crazy left turn… you’ll never know. Moral? Is don’t be afraid to get off the road you’re on and travel down another path. I am. Follow me?

It just may lead you in the right direction.  

I’m going to stop writing now because I feel someone smiling over me.

Its 03:04:28, January 2, 2012 on this side of the planet. Happy New Year.