Calm. 3:38 am.

Its all calm. And silent. And lonely, once again. The keystrokes of this keyboard sound like music. But then, my mind goes to you. Thank you for the fucking STD. And thank you, for talking thrash about me to your new-fucking boyfriend. Yes, I’m talking about my ex.
Not my fault if I fall in love with the most basic bitches. But you. You.

You.
Are fucking stupid.

Now listen, so I broke your heart right? And now you're on some 'he made me a better woman' kick trying to salvage what little dignity you have left after you cut off all ties to the outside world because of me? Gosh.

Now you're all over the place trying to be the 'better' person.

Not even realizing in the end, the beginning and the fucking next this dude you are trying so hard to prove something to does not give a fuck. I simply do not.

So you look at me with judgmental eyes and try to push your poor little broken hearted girl image on me thinking we're in the same boat.

Now let me clear something with your stupid ass.

We are on the same ocean yes, in the same boat? Hell to the fuck get the fuck out of here NO.
Because with my case? My situation? My emotional issues?
I
broke up with you. I ended it. I finished it. I ran the fuck away from something that was clearly about to blow up in my face. I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE in an attempt to save myself from your pathetic situation. So don't come at me with some "I hurt you so bad" shit.
Because I had the right mind to run the fuck away.

Given it didn't really fix nothing but hey, small comforts. You get me? I'm still as stuck as I ever was, still waiting to meet someone else and have that same reaction you know? Cause with you all you need is to get some dude to make you feel wanted again but with me it's a lot more complicated.What I need to be completely and utterly over you and another woman to set me ablaze just the way you did.

Another dudette to run through my head all damn day, another girl to make me blush, another girl to fill my stomach with butterflies, another girl to get my hands all clammy, another girl to make me so fucking nervous I can't put my sentences together, another girl who only has to open her mouth to get me thinking thoughts the very definition of sex, another girl I wake up in the morning and just stare in utter wonder at, another girl I can't believe I managed to bag, another girl who would never even have to think about asking me to stay true, another girl who I'd have no need to use the english language or any other with and another guy who I'd have no qualms admitting that I am irrefutably in love with.

Trust me. It's been 3 months, I've had plenty of women. But not one single mother fucker has been that “girl”.

So while you sit there in your newly acquired vapid ass relationship that we all know is gonna end up just like that last one did and you look at me all judgmental and shit just remember that while you attempt to grasp onto some semblance of a relationship you hope to last forever Femi Smith already knows the formula to his own infinity.

He's simply trying to find the right variables.

So eat shit you stupid bitch.

At least I know my left from fucking right. I’m just trying to die happy.

And….
I still love you.