He shook his head with reckless abandon. He had done this so many times over the past few days. Argue with himself. Again. And Again.

He sighed and rubbed his temple in an effort to reduce his ever increasing stress levels. Turning over in the bed, stretching his hand to the prone nude figure calmly sleeping beside him, he cupped her jaw in his hands and stroked her cheek.

She didn't wake up. She never did.

Would he wake up? From all this?

It seemed so unreal. So free. The feeling was there, he knew what he felt, but could not describe it. Was it love? No, he knew what that felt like. Using the tips of his fingers to trace down from her cheeks to her neck.... holding her left shoulder.. he saw her blink. And moan. Smiling, he turned, wondering what she was dreaming of, lying face up, whispering, he asked his older lover, his teacher: You awake?

Not waiting for a response, he used his left hand to draw her close to him. She snuggled close to him and threw a lazy leg over his torso. She rarely talked.

And when she did, it turned his brain into mush.   

But then he knew, every other guy who'd done her, felt the same way. He'd prided himself as someone who'd never fall in love. Who was immune. He was the grandmaster. A genius. A fucking cold hearted male of the human species. So what the fuck was he feeling? Definatly it was not love, because last night, he'd seen her check a text message on her phone and smile. She wasn't trying to hide it, and so he checked it. Another lover. But he didn’t mind. Love was supposed to be jealous, init?

But that in itself was a first. Checking a girls phone for a text. She made him excited. Feel on top of this world. You know that feeling? Dang. He still couldnt describe it. She'd slept off. Getting up, he lit a ciggartte and thought of thier love making that night. After catching him checking her phone, a fight broke out. She'd been so cool about it, and he had gotten mad. Looking outside the window of her shabby apartment, he stared at the stars.

The stars seemed brighter, they hurt his eyes.

He remembered the way his anger had made him almost blind, literrlily blind, when she laughed when he'd lied that he was only looking at her pictures. He remembered how she'd looked at him with a puzzled look on her face, when he stopped and stared blindly at her.

The way she stepped forward... and kissed him.

The way he tasted ciggaette smoke mixed with wine in her lips. The way he melted. The way she cupped his buttocks in her hands, and him reciprocating the gesture.... which made both of them burst into laughter. The way she smiled and cocked her head to one side, still hugging him, kissing his cheek taking her phone from his hands, and deleting the text message, still smiling, going through her contacts and deleting the sender of the message.

The way she made things look so simple. So fucking simple.

She gone into the kitchen - or what she called a kitchen, and came out with two glasses and a bottle of some kind of wine he couldnt remember. The way she lay her head on his shoulder and watched T.V.  together, both of them thinking what the fuck they where watching the N.T.A. News for. Then she switched the channel. To A.I.T or channels or something. They where playing some kind of slow music.

Crushing the cigarette on the winow pane, he thought of thier love making.

Slow and Methodical.

Intense. The normal Missionary position.

Mind blowing. 

The way she moaned. The way she tore at his back, he could feel the scars on his back. The way her feet crossed themselves across his back. The way she drew him close to her, the way she whispered nothing but moans into his ear.

Oh fuck.

Above the din of cars passing, still lost in thought, he heard a noise at the door, a whining of a drunk man. He immediately recognized the voice, her landlord. What did he want at his freaking time of the night?

Still lost in thought, he thought of waking her up, glancing at her, he heard the whining at the door turn to heated pounding, he hurried to the front door.

Opening the door, He saw the land lord standing there, with a bottle of beer in his right hand and a packet of condoms in his left, smiling like a 4 year old who had been promised a car for his 5th birthday.

They both stared at themselves in shock and suprise.

Stunned and drunk, the landlord collapsed unto the floor, his heat beating a tad faster than it ususlly used to.

Stunned, he looked down at the already gasping landlord.

That was when he realised with dismay.

He was naked.