2:35 am

2:35 am. I am still high? Why?

I've been on some other shit lately. You can all vouch for that.

Let me write this while the feeling is fresh. I'm feeling pretty objective right now, I dunno...pretty mature?

So here, I'm back.

On the verge of going back to bed and lying down to either text with her or with the first wife..... I think. I type. I wonder. It is a strange feeling you know? All the pain and difficulty I had foreseen to go hand in hand with this has not made itself present. I'm not really sure what to do. I think that’s a good definition of "Too good to be true". :) The pride you thought you had fades and the intensity you thought had lost hits you with power you never knew it had. It seems as though I have always been ready for this, or maybe what happened last finally sobered me up, I now understand that I simply wasn't ready.

And to be honest, I’m not sure I was never meant to be.

You love but never learn. You learn then never love.

Solo. It was once:  piss me off and it's over, I learnt my lesson with ol' Malcolm X about the dangers of not letting go quickly enough that now the talent comes as easy as breathing. But its magical how i re-learned not to let go.

I burnt a lot of bridges last year.  Late last Year.

And have left no evidence on my person that would suggest the rampart fires.

Thinking about it, at the beginning, the only thing I was really interested in doing was to turn her individual and probably secret perverse nature and translate it into something beautiful. And dumping her.

Then I said "No" and the whole world blows up. My whole world. Blows up into joy.

Whatever.  I’m not even sure what I’m writing makes any sense at all.

God makes us pass through ugly shit in order to show us the beautiful side.

All I have to be is who he has made me and he will do the rest.

It is what it is. Per usual.

Fly on Little Wing.

Don't watch me darlings.

G'Night.

I hope.

Excuse me while I touch the sky.

PURPLE HAZE.

Love. xx.