First Off.

I feel brilliant. And not at all sexually frustrated. And I'm doing long distance!

I don't like hurting people's feelings, but I won't compromise my comfort because of a chemical imbalance in your brain. I've heard a lot of people profess their love for me, and to tell you the truth I am tired, that's why right now I like "players".

Even if they fall in love with me, they'll never admit it. I fucks with that.

Is that too much to ask for? I was told my expectations are too high. That I'm too ugly for dudettes to even notice I have a brain. But all they see is the bomb ass sex and the face/figure. I want someone to fall in love with my mind. Good luck getting that ring on my finger though. You probably gotta get on that Buddha/Jesus level to get there with me. See how I didn't say my girl or my girlfriend? As far as I'm concerned you ain't shit until there's a ring on my finger.

Single till I get married.

Don't be a victim of your own desperation. I became one.

And I got myself a shitty ass girlfriend I emotionally depended on for all the wrong reasons. If you look for love, you'll never find it, find yourself and the rest will come.

Its 3am. And Im wide awake.

I am AWAKE. I can't sleep through the night anymore. What is going on? I think i'm becoming a vampire. No but seriously. As soon as the sun comes up Ill be knocked out. Vampire status. This vampire set up is not enjoyable without illegal substances. Or Sex. And i'm trying to give the fuck up on both.

Ain't nothing worse than an ugly delusional hoe. But seriously though? ....I really shouldn't be talking about it like that. I didn't even want her in the first place, then I wanted her, but certainly it was certified hit and run. Now she's making it complicated.

I was a tiny band aid who attempted to cover the large gushing gaping hole.

No matter what you do, I can still best you. Don't try me.

Just because you where having some major insecurity issues, largely caused by me, doesn't mean you're important. Certain guys now think they possess something on the same level with me just because they're rifling through my TRASH.

And sending me those stupid crap facebook mails. Really, the best answer for some nigga's aint silence. Let me be specific; please stop fucking non bad DELUSIONAL bitches. I know it can be an emasculating ordeal but come on! For the sake of your pride and reputation please stop fucking non bad bitches!

I really wish...I really really really really wish....that my "ex's" would continue the train of badness after we're through.

30 minutes writing, 30 minutes Yoga, 10 minutes meditating. #amenthankyoujesus


..........ANDDDDDDDDD theres a rat in my room. omg omg omg omg omg Jesus take the wheel. I rebuke this rat.

Train of thought broken.


So it's 5:48 am and I haven't slept at all, at this point...is there really any point? I want to fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck the everything out of you at this precise moment. Vanity is really really unfair.

Positive thoughts, positive actions.

Jane, Long hair, don't care, backshots, head, weed. It's becoming a mantra, it helps me meditate. Gets me all happy and zenned out. Ill have to think about breakin that train.

But still, i can't deny that I loved you. Thank God its now "ed". One advice to you though: Keep ya head up, Legs closed, Eyes open.

You know, sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there’s no room for the present at all. Fuckshit. I really like that adjective/noun. It explains a lot. I should realllllly watch my language.

Im a free-spirited being. Someone said only Superman would be able to ground moi. I wish a dudette would.

Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, & everything is possible.

Thank Him for today, Yesterday and Tommorow.

Jahbless.